“I love it when you talk about work stuff.”, she said. I felt relieved, after I blabbered about those intense 15 minutes I was trying to satisfy that itch in my brain.

She’s relief. The kind of relief I felt in the dream when I saw the light in the room was on when I was about to cross the road by the sad river bridge in Verona. The keys weren’t working, and when they finally did I saw her standing there with the vase ready to hit whoever was trying to come in. I felt so proud of her. My little girl, ready to defend herself.

She’s relief. The kind of relief I felt when I booked the second hotel in Amalfi after we got down from the bus. I was impatient because I wanted to find a place for her soon, where she can lie down beside me, without a worry in her head. The bottle slipped from my hand and I was scrambling for it. I ran towards the bus, knowing it won’t leave without me, as I had a feeling. There was relief when I saw her face when I was getting in the bus, she was worried. I felt so proud of her. My little girl, thinking I would leave her alone by herself.

She’s relief. The kind of relief I felt when I got her McD on the stone day. I knew she was loosing her mind and the only thing that popped in my brain was to get her food. More than that, eat it with her. She went on all about how it was special, I sat there listening to her talk, as she slowly recovered from the high. I felt so proud of her. My little girl, thinking I wouldn’t trip-sit her. 

She’s relief. The kind of relief I felt when I heard her cry when on the first call back from the airport. “I don’t feel good”, she said, crying. “Neither do I”, I talked to myself— while I made her laugh, while I distracted her because she was so close to getting home.

She’s relief. Relief because she listens to me. Relief because I listen to her. Relief because she cooks for me. Relief because I cook for her.  Relief because she eats with me. Relief because I eat with her. Relief because she sleeps with me. Relief because I sleep with her. Relief because she fights with me. Relief because I fight with her. 

Relief because she loves me. Relief because I love her. 

She’s relief.