“I physically cannot wait”, she said. I cannot wait too, I thought. 

Am I going insane? All I could think about was her— all these days. Waiting patiently for her calls and messages, for her stories and laughs, I left a part of me incomplete for her to fill up. 

Going all the way to Rome, to pick her up. I am going insane. But does she not deserve the insanity? Does she not deserve every ounce of effort? Every drop of my blood? Every pound of my flesh? 

To this day, I wait patiently. I wait as I sit in the bus tracking her flight. I wait patiently for her to show me the books she bought. I wait patiently for the kisses, and for the scoldings. I wait patiently to hold her purse, to relieve her of her burdens, to look out for her so that she doesn’t have to be attentive.

Fuck no! There is little left of the patience I talk about. I’m done with waiting now that I look out in the sun from the window of this bus, as I look at trees and flowers and farms passing by. As I watch tiny houses, streams of water, little hills pass by. She needs to be here to talk about them. How long should I ponder to myself about the wonders of the world?

Your gaze and the supple cheeks is what I missed. Your perspective on the little things, the eager rage when you talk about the things you like—that hypnotic sparkle in your eyes is what I missed. The soft touch on my face, lulling me to sleep is what I missed. And I wish to miss these no more.

Brains and thoughts, theories and follies, stories and tales. I’m done reading, I’m done reciting memories, I’m done scrolling down the past, I’m done looking at the worldly beauties. I want you. And I want you forever. I’ll have you forever.

Out of every bleak memory of the past 17 days, I held hope, like I always do. At the end of every day, good or bad, I retired in my soul, for I found peace knowing soon there will be a day I will have you in arms. Counting weeks, counting days to counting hours. I’m counting hours as I write this. And I wish to count no more. For how long should I clasp on to this unholdable—-

Patience?